Fr. Z posted an excellent article on parenthood and the Holy Family. Although a bit philosophical at times–not that there is anything wrong with being philosophical–here is a most practical excerpt:
Parents are the first examples of God children experience. Your children first learn who God is by experiencing you.
Can anyone wonder why the forces of hell are bending relentless attacks upon the family and the virtues which must be practiced in the home?
Through the media, especially cinema, TV, and the internet, there pour into our homes a constant assault on virtue. And it is precisely virtue (not diversity, not tolerance, not inclusivity, not politically correct sensitivity, not freedom of choice unfettered from charity) that makes possible a family and therefore a society. — Fr. Z @ WDTPRS
As a father myself, I would like to expound on this as a set of practical parenting tips for dads.
Dads, it’s time to be men. It’s time to be there for your spouse and for your children. You are the protectors of your family. You are not priests, yet you are the shepherds of young souls. What you allow into your homes is on you. It only takes one image to destroy your children’s innocence forever, and today’s media is a veritable cesspool of innocence-robbing images, songs, and suggestions. At the same time, there are so many children today whose dads are not there to fight off the wolves when they come prowling.
Let’s list some things you can do to exemplify God to your children and protect them from evil.
Seven Parenting Tips for Dads
Tip 1: Spend quality time with your children daily.
I know it can be difficult to find the time when most of the day is spent away from the house at an office or job. I know how tired I am at the end of the day. In spite of this, make a conscious effort to spend time with the children every day. There may be a day here and there where it is not possible, but make those days be the exception, not the norm.
Consider that in being away from the children at your work, you reflect God’s distance from us in the natural order, while at the same time giving the children an example of self-sacrifice and perseverance. Conversely, when you are with the children, you reflect God’s ever-presence with us and His love for and longing to be with men. Dads, if you are never there for your children, they will not be inclined to believe that God is always there for them.
Tip 2: Turn off the tube
An occasional family movie can be a legitimate and edifying recreation for the entire family, but don’t let the television become a replacement for real, down-to-earth, activities with your children. (A side note: Mothers, please do not let the television become a babysitter during the day.) Anymore, there is hardly anything worth watching on television. Pre-screened videos are often a better alternative.
As far as worthy activities are concerned, they need not be complicated. Simply getting down on the floor to push cars around or check on a sleeping doll will bring a smile to your children’s faces. March around the living room to a fun song, or show your children how to color with crayons.
If these activities seem too petty (or boring to us adults), consider how childlike (goofy, silly, etc.) we must appear to our guardian angels. It is more important to be there and be engaged with our children than to enjoy the activity ourselves. Our joy will come from the children.
Tip 3: Pray daily with your children
Even if your children are too young to pray themselves, they need to see you pray. They need to understand that prayer is an integral part of life. They need to see that you rely on God. Prayer will become much easier for them if the see you are praying. Involve them in the family rosary. Pray it together. Even if the children cannot pray yet, explain that this is a time to be quiet and not play with toys.
Tip 4: Restrict internet access
The internet is a useful but dangerous tool. Just as one would not give a power saw to a child, one should not give his children unrestricted internet access. Don’t just rely on an internet filter. I have nailed down our home network pretty tightly with OpenDNS, but even still, I am surprised at times by what can get through. If the children must be on the internet, sit down with them. Pre-view the content they need. Remember, just because the world doesn’t consider it inappropriate doesn’t mean it is appropriate.
If a child objects to your presence when browsing the internet, explain that you are not restricting him; rather you are restricting the evil wolves which would do him harm. The same goes for any other form of media.
Tip 5: Foster a relationship with extended family
Grandparents, in particular, are very important for your children. Let your children see that you treat your parents (and in-laws) with respect. They will follow your example. It will not take long for the children to beg you to go to Grandma’s house.
Jesus subjected himself to 30 years obedience to Mary and Joseph. Give your children an example of honoring and obeying parents.
Tip 6: Sing
Alright…maybe this is not for everyone. If you can’t sing, instead replace singing with some other of your talents. This tip also goes very well with the previous tip, if your extended family has some musical inclination. Some of your children’s fondest memories can be sitting around a fire singing Christmas carols with Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa. Music is a language pretty universally understood. Even infants can be attentive to it.
Tip 7: Show the children’s mother affection
Naturally, I’m not talking about anything inappropriate here. Give your wife hugs and appropriate kisses. Show the children you delight to be around their mother. They will learn to respect her if you respect her.
About the Featured Image
The featured image for this post is entitled The Eternal Father Appears to Moses by Tintoretto. For more info see The Athenaeum.